The Catholic Patriotic Minute #62: Tom Vander Woude
Catholics For Catholics Special Edition | September 8th, 2026
Tom Vander Woude: An American Model of Catholic Fatherhood
On April 24, 1942, Tom was born at the Vander Woude family’s farm near Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The Vander Woude children were raised devout Catholics. While Tom worked on their farm by bailing hay and tending to animals, he nurtured a passion for flying.
Following his graduation from college and after marrying his high school sweetheart, Mary Ellen, Tom took steps to fulfill his childhood dream. He departed for Pensacola, Florida, to become a Navy pilot in the spring of 1965. During his deployment with his squadron–VA 86–on the USS America in the Tonkin Gulf region in 1968, Tom sent letters home to Mary Ellen and his two oldest sons, missing them especially during Holy Masses.
After his active duty with the Navy came to an end, Tom worked in the Navy Reserves, United Airlines, and Eastern Airlines. Working as a pilot resulted in Tom moving his family across the country ten times in the first nine years of Tom and Mary Ellen’s marriage.
At one point, Tom was furloughed as a commercial pilot and provided for his family by working at a paint store, but Mary Ellen recommended returning to Active Duty, so Tom could fly again. For Tom’s second period of Active Duty, the Vander Woudes lived in Lemoore, California; here, they began their lifelong practice of praying the Holy Rosary daily together.
In the wake of the nationwide legalization of contraceptives and abortion, Tom and Mary Ellen started to teach Natural Family Planning [NFP] in the 1970s. Throughout their marriage, they instructed hundreds (possibly, thousands) of couples in NFP. Teaching NFP was crucial at this time, in light of the reality that, by the year 1970, sixty-eight percent of Catholic women, between the ages of eighteen and thirty-nine, used artificial contraceptives despite the Catholic Church’s clear opposition.
When the Catholic school their boys attended began to teach sex education courses in the 1970s, Tom ensured his boys were not a part of these classes. Searching for opportunities for a strong Catholic education for his children, Tom discovered Seton School in Manassas, Virginia, where he moved his whole family in 1981. Even though the school boarded students at the time, Tom kept his family together, asserting “If the boys go, we ALL go.” They purchased a 27-acre property, with the idea of dividing up the land for their seven boys later.
While his boys attended Seton School, Tom coached the school’s basketball and soccer teams and advised on the school’s board of directors. At the same time, he worked as a commercial pilot, a role he retired from in 2002 to serve as Christendom College’s athletic director.
At Seton School, Tom befriended a priest, Father Fasano. The Vander Woudes joined Father Fasano’s parish at the time for Sunday Mass and the parish’s weekly Holy Hour, and they followed him to three of his subsequent reassignments in Northern Virginia. But, in 2001, a new church–Holy Trinity Catholic Church–was being established by Father Francis Peffley in a high school near the Vander Woudes’ farm. Tom determined his family would help this new church, which remained their parish for the remainder of Tom’s life and the years to come after.
At Holy Trinity Catholic Church, Tom and his family assisted in serving at Mass and setting up the church in the school every Sunday. He trained the altar servers and volunteered his assistance daily to Father Peffley. Tom and Mary Ellen prayed in adoration weekly for the next seven years. As he was extremely devoted to the Blessed Mother, he hosted hundreds at his farm for a Marian Procession on the last Sunday of May for many years.
Four of Tom’s favorite saints were Saints Joseph, Isaac Jogues, Joseph Cupertino, and Isidore. Tom often prayed for the intercession of Saint Joseph Cupertino, the patron saint of pilots, for his safety throughout his career, and for the intercession of Saint Isidore, the patron saint of farmers, concerning his own work on the farm. After he lost the index finger of his right hand due to an incident on his farm in 1990, Tom came to learn of and venerate Saint Isaac Jogues, who lost his own fingers from being tortured by the Iroquois Indians in North America.
Tom honored Saint Joseph and imitated the saint’s humility and service to his family in his own life. His son, Chris Vander Woude, later gave tribute to Tom’s roles as husband and father,
He was a tremendous leader and guardian of our family. He did this first and foremost by leading the family towards Christ through frequent reception of the sacraments, generously giving of himself for his family, and exercising tremendous virtue day in and day out, especially in the quiet, hidden areas like temperance and courage. In many ways, he was a tremendous example of what true Catholic manhood should be, dedicated to always giving of himself, especially when it came to leading his family towards Christ and protecting and helping those that needed help.
One of Tom’s close friends, Bob Laird, stated, “[Tom] dedicated his entire life to his family and his faith. This dedication cost him his life saving his son.”
On September 8, 2008, Tom and Joseph, his 20-year-old son with Down Syndrome, were tending to their pool before Joseph fell into their septic tank, which was about six or seven feet deep. Tom called for his workman and jumped into the sewage to lift Joseph out. His last words to the workman were, “[y]ou pull and I’ll push.” Tom was able to push Joseph out before passing out and dying from the toxic gases.
More than 1,500 people attended his funeral Mass at Holy Trinity Catholic Church on September 15, 2008, the memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows. Tom’s eldest son, Father Thomas Patrick Vander Woude, celebrated the mass with more than seventy-five other priests and the bishop of the diocese of Arlington. Bishop Loverde called Tom’s last act “saintly.” Further, he said, “His last act of self-giving was just the crown on a whole life of self-giving.” He asked the attendees to pray, not only for Tom’s soul, but also for his intercession. After Pope Francis added “offering of life” as a path to canonization in 2017, the Tom Vander Woude Guild began advocating for his cause of canonization. The Diocese of Arlington have selected a postulator and vice postulator, who are investigating and promoting his cause.
Tom Vander Woude–a pilot, coach, farmer, and teacher–died a loving husband, a father of seven, and a grandfather of twenty-four. Selflessly, he loved his family and community so well. One of Tom’s colleagues noted that Tom displayed a poem, titled “I Asked God,” on his office wall. His colleague claimed that the last stanza fully reflected Tom’s character. The last stanza reads, “I asked God to help me love others, As much as He loves me, And God said, Ah, finally, you have the idea.”
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